I'm Back from SEMA

It's been a long, hard week. I did a signing for Toyo Tires, at the SEMA Auto Convention in Las Vegas. I'm not sure how many people were actually there, maybe 100,000. I probably signed about 5,000 posters, and took around 10,000 photos. No joke. I got very little sleep. I woke up at 6am every morning, and sat under florescent lights, and camera flashes from 9 to 5. By the end of the day, on the last day I honestly had trouble signing my own name. My cheeks hurt from smiling. I know it sounds like I'm complaining, but.... well I can't complain. I know I don't have a right to. Some people do real work. This is a cake walk compared to a real job. And I know what a real job is, I've worked plenty of them.

What was hard for me was the amount of energy I had to endure. Not physical energy, just... you know, people static. There were too many people. It was too much attention. Too many people's minds, and too many prying eyes. Too much of everything. It was overbearing. I felt like my soul was being sucked through a vacum, and was only left with so much of myself still intact by the end of the day. The mental images they impose don't go unnoticed by me, because I can literally feel them crawling over my skin.

In general, conventions aren't my thing. This is probably the third time I've ever worked a convention. I do straight ahead print jobs, and it's low-key, and totally professional straight ahead work. I don't crave that kind of attention. In actuality, this week was one big ego-trip; a constant reminder of who I'm supposed to be. A constant role I had to keep playing... pretty girl. And by ego, I'm not talking about conceit per say, I'm simply talking about self-identification. Something I like to stay generally free of, as difficult as it may be.

Las Vegas is one big mind-fuck, period. If you don't have money in Vegas, you're worth nothing. They pump the air full oxygen in the casinos to keep you awake, get you lost and confused, obsessed with your own self-worth. To be honest, I've never been to Vegas without feeling completely insane. The constant ringing sounds of slots machines, and hypnotising decor leaves me with a deeply sick feeling, every time. Even in trying to sit away from the crowds, one is never truly alone; surely there is someone staring at you through one of the many security cameras that dot the ceilings, which leave no shadows unseen.  No one's alone on a casino floor. In the desert, most everything is dead and dry. Nothing grows, except the most feirce spiny cacti. A perfect place to errect a man-made technological masterpeice, and most soulless place in the world. Simply put, I'm not a fan of Vegas. But anyway, I was talking about SEMA. SEMA just happens to be in Vegas. They have little to do with each other, other than making an exhausting combination.

Other than Vegas being exhausting, and SEMA being a crowded convention, the people were nice, and they're all are just innocent, and coming from a good and sweet place.  Everyone I worked with was awesome too. The 4 other Toyo models were all so fun to hang out with. It was the first time we'd actually done an event together, usually it's two of us at a time, or you'd do the event alone.  But at SEMA all 5 of us were there.  :)

...Anyway, now I'm off to my Mom's poetry reading. I'm at her house right now, and we're getting ready. My brother is going to play guitar in the background of her peice, kind of like spoken word over music. Anyway, gotta go now...