Chicken Attack!!

I'm at my Dad's house right now with Ryan.  They're playing a racing video game together over some jack and coke.  My dad likes to play video games and drink.  He's always been that way.  Ever since Attari.   :)  Actually, he just likes video games, period.  He also likes to drink, so maybe they just happen simultaneously sometimes.    He got his new 50" LCD flat, not for the crispness of the war shows he watches, but because Halo 3 was coming out.  When virtual reality gaming comes around he'll be the first to have it.

Ryan and my Dad... they get along so well.  It's kind of funny.

Today was slower than I would've liked it to be.  I should've gone to the gym.  I should've gone on a bike ride today.  I should stop reacting on my emotions and posting "woe-is-me" blogs.   Oh well.  Regret is nothing.  It's nothing but an mental annoyance reacting to a memory.  Same goes for revenge, and so many other words that start with the prefix "re".  "Re's" don't matter.   Nor do most opinions, be them mine, or anyone else's.  Nothing matters.  I'm almost completley numbed by my current depression.  Right now I care about very little.  That's why I'm going to keep snacking on these nuts here.  They're awesome.  And hey, I don't give a shit about being skinny right now.  At all.  It comes and goes, though; the sadness.  I'm really not a depressed person by nature, so when I'm depressed, I know it.  My voice is low and monotoneous.  My expressions don't change.  Then it will wear off again, and I'll forget about the sadness, and come-to again.  The key is staying in the moment.  

My brother's friend just came over here, and everyone is eating BBQ chicken.  

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15 minutes just passed and I'm back.

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I just ate chicken.  About 3 bites.  I haven't had meat in about 4 or 5 months.  I've been a happy vegan for sometime now, and I just ate chicken.  It feels like I swallowed a bag of pebbles.   I can feel it in my upper intestine.  Ewe.  Why did I just do that?  It feels terrible in my body.  This is defintely why people that go vegan, stay vegan.  When you stop consuming meat, your body stops producing the enzymes neccesary to break down animal proteins.  So it sits there like a bag of rocks.  Yuck, dude.  Ugh. What should I do?  Down a glass of water?  It's kind of painful actually.